Desperation
by anonymouskansan
Summary: Sam is alone at Stanford, and broke. Just how far will he go?
1. Chapter 1

Based on DominaMalfoy's 'What Big Brothers Are For', unfortunately without permission, as I was unable to get on touch with her. DominaMalfoy, if you see this and want me to take it down, just let me know.

Disclaimer: if I owned this, I'd be in a mansion in California right now, not in a trailer in Kansas

Prologue

Stanford, 2003

Sam really, really didn't want to do this. Words couldn't describe how much he

didn't want to do this. It was disgusting and humiliating, not mention illegal. But he had

no choice. He couldn't support himself on his minimum wage job at the coffee shop, and

he'd already pawned most of the weapons he'd taken with him when left home. He was

beyond broke paying for books, food, rent and bills(now that he lived off campus), and

many other daily things that all cost money. Which was why he now standing in the

bathroom of his apartment, staring into the mirror, sickened by what he was wearing:

black slacks that were 2 sizes too small, a black button down shirt with the top 3 buttons

undone, and a leather jacket that he'd only bought because it reminded him of Dean.

Dean, who would beat the crap out of him and lock him in a closet if he knew what he

was about to do. He tried not to think about that; the looks on Dean's and his dad's faces.

Or Jess. They'd only been going out for a couple of months, but he didn't think this was

considered good boyfriend behavior. He took one last look in the mirror; "As ready as I'll

ever be", he muttered gloomily, and went out the door. 15 minutes later he reached the

street corner he'd scouted out earlier that day. He stood and waited, and before long, a

beat up black pickup pulled up and stopped, the driver- a fat, balding man in his 40s with

missing teeth- staring at Sam and practically drooling. "How much?" he asked bluntly.

Fighting nausea and hoping his voice didn't shake, Sam answered calmly, "$150". The

man thought it over for barely a minute before saying "Fine. Get in" Sam got in and they

drove off. Much later, $600 dollars richer and in a lot of pain, Sam Winchester stumbled

back to his apartment, threw up, and cried himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long delay. I've been super busy with work and a new boyfriend, and I've barely had time to eat or sleep, let alone write. But I'm back now, you can stop worrying!**

Jess felt sick. She wasn't stupid, or as heavy of a sleeper as Sam seemed to think.

She had heard him sneak out at night several times, and he'd be gone for hours. When he

got back, he'd go right to the shower, and not come out for a long time. Her first thought,

naturally, was an affair. She was so sure of it, she decided to follow him next time he

went out, to see this other girl for herself. Her opportunity came just 2 nights later, when

she heard him leaving just after midnight. Normally, she'd never be able to sneak upon

him, but he was more distracted than she'd ever seen him, and she followed him easily.

She expected him to be meeting another girl, but instead, he stopped under a street light

and just stood there. Was he waiting for someone? The Girl? 10 minutes passed, then 15,

20. after nearly half an hour she was silently cheering that apparently, the Other Girl had

stood him up. She was sure he'd leave now, but just as she was thinking this, a black

pickup, pulled up in front of Sam. He walked up to it, they talked, and then Sam got in.

she didn't want to believe it, but she'd seen too many lifetime movies to mistake what

she'd just seen for anything else. Sam was—she couldn't even think the words. Abruptly,

she bent over and lost her dinner into a nearby bush. She had to get out of here, now!

Racing blindly back to her apartment, she paced angrily for a while, before she calmed

down enough that she could think clearly and come up with a plan. Grabbing the phone,

she called the one person Sam would be likely to listen to besides her.

Dean stumbled into the motel room and fell onto the bed. He'd just finished a 4

day hunt for a wendigo, and all he wanted to do was sleep. So, naturally, that's when the

phone rang. "Hello!" he barked into the phone, not pleased, and wanting them to know it.

"Um, hello?" a girl's hesitant voice replied " is this Dean Winchester?" dean was

instantly suspicious- very few people knew his real name, and even fewer of those were

girls. "Who is this?"

"My name is Jessica Moore. I'm Sam's girlfriend. I found your number in his underwear

drawer."

"Ok….so, why are you calling me?" deciding to bypass the information that his Sammy

had an actual girlfriend- for now; there was always time to tease him about it later.

"umm, Sam's in trouble, and I was hoping you could talk to him."

"What kind of trouble?" he asked, already packing his duffle bag and getting ready to

leave. Jess started to cry. Whatever was going in with Sam, obviously it was bad.

Sam umm…he's….he's been….selling himself." She could barely force the words out,

but once she did, she started crying again. It was the first time she'd said the words out

loud, and they hurt more than she thought possible. For his part, Dean had frozen where

he stood and gone pale. _No_! He had to have misunderstood, because Sammy would never

be that _stupid_, after all he had gone to school to be normal, and this was about as far from

normal as you could possibly get. He had to be sure; "how do you know for sure?"

"I followed him. I saw him get into a car with a man, and they left together, and they

didn't come back. I called you as soon as I got home."

"I'll be there in 4 hours" he told her, and then hung up. Damn it, Sammy! You wanted to

be normal! This isn't normal! You sure f-ed up this time, little brother. Getting in the

impala, he peeled out without bothering to check out of the motel. Anyway, Kurt C.

Bonham would be the one in trouble, not Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester was

currently making a beeline for Palo Alto.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean got to Palo Alto in 2 ½ hours; breaking all speed limits know to man, but

somehow not getting pulled over. Getting to Stanford campus, he parked and double

checked the address the girl-Jess? - had given him. He parked out of sight so that Sammy

wouldn't see the car and run off. Knocking on the apartment door, he didn't have to wait

long before it was opened by a pretty blonde girl who obviously been crying. He was

surprised Sammy was with a girl was so far out of his league, but decided not to mention

it-yet. Even Dean Winchester occasionally mustered up some tact. "Are you Jess?"

"Yeah. Dean?"

"Yeah." Without another word, she stood aside so he could come in. " I don't know when

Sam will be home. It might be a while."

"That's all right. I can wait." They didn't speak much to each other; what was there to

say? the only thing said between them was her offer of coffee, and his acceptance.

Nearly 2 hours passed before they heard a key in the door, and there was Sammy,

the first time Dean had seen him in 2 years. He hadn't changed a bit, on the outside

anyway. As soon as Sam got in the door, the first thing he saw was Dean sitting on the

couch, and he went deathly pale. _Dean's here? Why? Is something wrong with him, is he _

_dying? Is dad? Whatever it is, it can't be good._ "Dean? Why are you here?" Dean sighed.

"I'm here because Jess called me."_ Might as well jump right in._ "We're both worried

about you Sammy. We know what you've been doing." _No, no! He can't know! Neither_

_of them can, they'll hate me! _Inwardly, he was panicking, but outwardly, he tried to bluff

and laugh it off. "Doing? You mean going for walks at night? I didn't that was a crime."

"Sammy-just don't start, ok. We know you've been –selling yourself." Dean forced

himself to say the words, to admit to himself what his little brother had had been doing.

For his part, Sam paled even farther, if that was possible. "You… how…. You can't…"

"Jess followed you."

"You followed me?" he cried without thinking, then freaked when he realized that he

had just all but confessed. "Yes, I followed you! I wanted to know where my boyfriend

was going in the middle of the night! I just didn't expect you to be-" she couldn't finish,

but burst into tears and ran from the room. Leaving Sam alone with his big brother.

Instantly, Dean turned on his 'concerned big brother mode'. "Are you ok,

Sammy?" In Spite of the situation, Sam had to smile. Dean, always the mother hen. "I'm

fine, Dean."

"Well, you're going to the hospital tomorrow, just in case. What the hell, Sam? Why

would you do something like this? I thought you had a full ride to this place."

"I do, but it doesn't cover books, food, clothes, car maintenance, and about 50 other

things that all cost money."

"Damn it, Sam. You still had options: pool hustling for one, I didn't spend 3 weeks

teaching you for nothing. Credit card fraud- if you were going to go the illegal route, you

could have at least gone with something a little less likely to get you killed!" During

Dean's little speech, Sam started feeling worse and worse. Dean was right, he'd had other

options, he just didn't want to do anything that reminded him of his family. "You're right

Dean, I'm sorry."

"Well, good. You won't be doing this anymore, Sammy. Not just because it goes against

your whole 'I want a normal life' schtick, but because the worry will make me

prematurely gray, and if you make me go gray and lose girls, and will kick your ass, got

it?"

"Got it. I don't suppose I can talk you out of making me go to a clinic, can I?"

"Nope, you're going if I have to tie you to the impala."

"Fine, but can I get some sleep first? I've had a very long night." A pillow hit him in the

head as he headed for his bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am very, very sorry for the long wait. I lost my job and had to devote my entire self to finding a new one. Now that I have, I can relax and start writing again. Unfortunately, I have lost all ideas of where I wanted this story to go, so I'm ending it as smoothly as I can. Now, on with the story.**

When Sam woke up the next morning, Jess was gone. Laying on her pillow was a

note that simply read 'I don't trust you anymore, and I can't be with you right now. I

don't know if I can ever forgive you, but I'll try. Jess.' Sam stared at the note in shock,

but he understood. Jess deserved better than him, and he would let her go, even if if it

broke his heart. After he and Dean got this clinic nonsense over with, he go return the

ring he had spent many nights earning, and had been hiding in his pocket for a week.

They were at the clinic, having already seen the doctor, and were waiting on the

test results. Meanwhile, Dean had gotten bored and was trying to fit the blood pressure

cuff around Sam's head, while Sam threatened to shove a tongue depressor somewhere

Dean very much didn't it. Finally, the doctor came back into the room, stopping short and

staring at the two grown men that were currently acting all of a minute, he cleared

his throat to get their attention. "Oh, hey doc." Dean mumbled rather sheepishly. "How

long you been standing there? You have the test results, right?" He quickly changed the

subject. "Yes, Mr. Stevens, I do. Unfortunately, Sam, I'm Sorry to have to inform you

that you have syphilis. Dean's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and Sam went white as

a ghost; Dean made him sit before he collapsed. "Syphilis?" Both brothers repeated in

unison, and disbelief. "But- but I don't feel sick!"

"Most people don't. That's why this disease is one of the more dangerous to contract, Mr.

Stevens. Fortunately, in your case, we caught it in the very early stages. We can clear it

up with a few shots of antibiotics and a few days in the hospital. By next week, this will

all just be a bad memory."

"Oh, thank God!" Dean blurted out. Sammy was sick, but it was easily fixable. This

nightmare would over with by next week. Sammy's girlfriend was gone, and that was too

bad, but maybe he wouldn't want to stay in the place where he had so many memories of

her? Maybe he'd come back on the road with his big brother? He forced himself to pay

attention when he realized the doctor was still talking…. "- no more than 3 or 4 days, I

think. Then you should be good to go! I'll go get the forms for you to fill out, and get

everything set up." The doctor left the room, and the boys just stared at each other. In

unspoken agreement, they decided their dad should never, ever find out about this.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"We should talk about what we're gonna do after this is over."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've got work to do, right?" Sam grinned at his big brother, and Dean found

himself grinning right back.


End file.
